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Recovery is a challenging road to walk. You may have already seen the powerful impact that other people can have on your sobriety by providing support, guidance, and professional help. One of the most important roles in your recovery will be your accountability partner: someone who specifically works to hold you to your goals and ensure that you’re keeping on track. As such, it’s a position of great responsibility. Here’s how to choose an accountability partner who’ll help you focus on achieving success in sobriety.
What Makes Someone Right for the Job?
An accountability partner is someone who’s personally taken on the role of safeguarding your sobriety, checking in on your progress, and demanding that you hold yourself to the standards of recovery that you set for yourself in treatment. To successfully act in that capacity, they should know the full extent of your history of addiction, your warning signs, your cravings, and your triggers, so that they can be fully prepared to recognize and intercept you if you start careening towards danger.
They must be someone you trust to the highest degree. They may have to contact you at all hours of the day or night, come find you in person, push past the lies or defenses you may come up with in your panic or denial, and enforce your sobriety plan even if you think, in a given moment, that you no longer want to try to follow it. This person must truly have your best interests at heart.
Where to Start Looking for an Accountability Partner
Most people begin their search for a trustworthy accountability partner at their place of treatment or the location where they meet with support groups. Your sponsor is a prime choice for a person who’ll hold you accountable to your sobriety goals--they may be doing so already. Of course, only good can come of having multiple people keeping you on track. Some choose a peer in recovery who’s been sober for longer. Some choose a therapist, recovery counselor, or other form of professional figure who’s already been helpful.
A close friend or family member could also be a viable candidate for filling the role of accountability partner in your recovery process. Be careful when considering someone who has known you a long time; you don’t want their personal love for you to influence the way they assess your behavior or hold you to a higher (or lower) standard. You want someone in your corner who believes in you, not someone who’ll give you so much benefit of the doubt that they end up enabling you.
Choose Someone Who Won’t Pull Any Punches
When deciding who to trust with the responsibility of holding you accountable to your sobriety, make sure that whoever you choose will pull no punches in calling out your destructive choices. It will seem easy and convenient to lean on some of your close friends for moral support--and you absolutely should, because there’s no such thing as having too many friends to encourage you throughout your recovery--but remember that accountability partner’s job is not to coddle your feelings or shower you with unconditional positivity.
Your accountability partner should be the first person you think of when you’re tempted by cravings to drink or use. They should be the first person you call if you slip up, even though you know they won’t be happy about it. They should be the person you can count on to reach out to you, and come find you, if necessary, if you miss an appointment or skip out on a meeting. They should be someone you trust to hold the health of your future in higher priority than the comfort of your present. Make sure you pick someone who’s up to the task and who realizes the value of their responsibility.
Don’t Let Yourself off the Hook
Once you’ve found your accountability partner and established their role in your recovery, it may seem tempting to ease up on your own self-vigilance. After all, we’re used to having authority figures in our lives, especially when it comes to addiction--the law, doctors, treatment professionals, guidance counselors, sponsors, the relatives who hold us to a higher standard, and more. Having an accountability partner doesn’t mean that they will watch and correct your every move and you are still ultimately responsible for your own sobriety and recovery.
You’re in recovery because, in one way or another, you realized that you had to make a change. Don’t let go of that underlying spark of motivation to improve your life. If you lose your own drive to stay sober, no amount of outside influence will be able to keep you from abandoning your goals to relapse. Your accountability partner is your safeguard, there to keep you on track as you boldly charge forward into your brighter future. Make sure that you keep moving!
When embarking on the path to recovery, your social support system and environment make up a huge component of your success. To choose the right environment to encourage your progress and keep you accountable is to set yourself up for achieving your sobriety goals. START UP RECOVERY offers a state-of-the-art sober living center designed with your recovery in mind. You’ll enjoy private suites and breathtaking ocean views as you participate in a powerful individualized and restorative experience, complemented by our signature Recovery Playbook® curriculum. We work closely with you and your team to find an outpatient program that’s right for yo, and make referrals based on your needs to ensure that your recovery reaches successes you’d never imagined possible. Don’t go it alone--hold yourself to the highest standards of healing. We’re here to provide the help you need to take your transformation to the next level. Call (310) 773-3809 to get started on your journey of transformation with us.