Most people believe that putting their needs first is selfish and unkind. However, making yourself and your needs a priority is possibly the best thing you can do for your mental and physical health. Your loved ones also benefit when you take time to practice self-care and discover your value. They stand to gain when you are in a good space and have vitality, energy, and enthusiasm brimming within.
However, you might believe that things will fall apart when you put your mind, body, and soul first. Understand, it is not about being selfish, but instead finding the value within to allow yourself to make the best choices to build healthy relationships with others. Finding your value will enable you to become the person you envision being.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Comparing yourself to another person is a losing battle. Not only will you focus on the things you lack, but you start to adopt and believe your feelings of inadequacy. It is hard to truly understand someone and what they have when you have not been in their shoes or endured specific experiences. Comparing takes the focus off of you; however, your value lies in the experiences in your life that make you who you are.
Your story is yours to tell, and overlooking the things going right in your life damages your self-perception and recovery needs. Instead, focus on those areas where things are going right; this allows you to understand what you have to be grateful for in your life. Let go of the inner perfectionist and appreciate what your talents have to offer. Shifting your focus not only brings brevity and perspective to your life, but others around you will not be able to deny your enthusiasm and zest for life.
When you believe that you are only capable of so many things, these beliefs start to feel like truths, and soon you accept them as fact. However, you can accomplish so much more than you might believe. Settling for a job you dislike or a relationship that depletes you of your best self because your heart's not in it is no way to find your value. Settling because it is easier and seemingly more comfortable is not worth the cost.
Remind yourself of why you have endured and overcome the weight of your addiction. Your drive and ambition are waiting to awaken, and settling will only keep it in a state of eternal slumber. You deserve peace of mind and success. If you constantly say to yourself, "there has got to be something better," you are likely settling. Instead, think of the things that motivate you and bring out your strongest passions and set goals and build plans around realizing the person you see coming out of that effort. Recovery is a journey that relies on a forward motion, and settling can halt that motion.
LEARN TO SAY “NO”
Helping others is excellent; however, sometimes, we can become too tempted to do things at the expense of our well-being. When you give more than you can, you not only place stress on your mental and physical health, but you don't allow others to learn from their own experiences.
Continually doing things because you feel obligated or pressured can also lead to resentment. Such resentment can become directed toward yourself and the person you are offering your time and effort to help. Learning how to prioritize your time and needs allows you to recognize when you can help another and when you need to put yourself and your needs as the priority.
Saying "no" can be liberating because when you say "no" to another, you are then saying "yes" to yourself. Allow yourself to say no. Such a practice will not only benefit your self-esteem, but it helps build self-respect and garner respect from others. Soon others will understand that your time and needs are just as important, saving you from feeling like you are not appreciated.
SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
In addition to saying "no," you should also work on creating healthy boundaries. Having clear boundaries is vital to establish that relationships should be mutually respectful. Setting boundaries lends certain freedom because when your needs are clearly defined, there is no need to put up walls to protect yourself.
Limitations reflect the respect you have for yourself and, in turn, teach others how to treat you. Boundaries give you a clear blueprint in how to act and defend should someone try to push your boundaries, and therefore having these set in place will help you keep a firm stance in what you believe.
FOLLOW YOUR HEART
There is something within everybody that makes them come alive and find meaning in their life. Never forget to listen to the part of you that drives your bliss. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or writing to help you keep track of the things that drive you and the things that distract you. Focusing on your values enables you to focus on your purpose.
While your dreams may evolve, they never truly go away. Understand that passions can also be little or big, so listen to them when they arise. Remember to focus on doing one thing at a time. The best parts of your success and recovery happen along the way.
How you value yourself affects your relationships, and it makes sense to give yourself as much care, love, and attention as needed to nurture your passions and goals. At START UP RECOVERY, we help you rebuild the trust and respect you have for yourself. The goal is to help you realize the same joy in yourself that you see in others. With a network comprised of professionals and peers alike, you will share a sense of belonging, motivation, inspiration, and self-respect that you might not have ever experienced before. Your greatest strengths emerge when you choose to transform into the person you see yourself becoming. However, to do this, you must be willing to look inward, work hard and keep persistent with things that drive you. START UP RECOVERY is an excellent ally for helping you accomplish this. If you are struggling to find your value, then the time to get help is now. Reach out to us today by calling 310-773-3809.