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There are many hurdles for each person in recovery as someone must confront their vulnerabilities and preconceived notions about their world and their own world view. Recovery involves learning a lot of life skills or coping mechanisms that are important to implement in daily life. The stress of someone trying to transform their mindset, values, and even self-image is intense. Because of the stressful nature of recovery, introducing even more stressors or hurdles can be incredibly detrimental to the recovery process. Self-sabotage is just one way in which someone can hinder their own recovery and own goals. Identifying self-sabotaging behavior and addressing the underlying reasons therein can help someone not just confront these hurdles in a therapeutic way, but also continue to aid them in the path to their own goals in recovery as they take hold of their future.
What is Self-Sabotaging Behavior
Self-sabotage is an overarching term that can manifest in a number of different ways. However, self-sabotaging behavior always has a component that causes someone to act in a way that is in direct contrast to their own best interests or goals. This can take the form of drinking or using drugs, but also extends far beyond such behaviors. In recovery, even those who are successfully maintaining their sobriety and working through their recovery program can find themselves engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors. This can be procrastination, degrees of self-imposed isolation, perfectionism, or even constantly hesitating in the presence of potential change. All of these aspects can be considered self-sabotaging as they work against the goals that people often set for themselves in recovery. While someone may set goals for themselves to find a career path and hold a steady job or to reignite relationships to establish their own support and community, these actions can directly hinder these experiences.
However, self-sabotaging behavior can be a difficult thing to spot, as the effects of many of their manifestations don’t always happen instantaneously. It may not be immediately clear how someone’s procrastination or perfectionism are hindering their goals both personally or professionally. Retroactively connecting self-sabotaging elements to their consequences can be a difficult process, and so identifying these behaviors can best be accomplished by appropriate goal setting with a critical, introspective mindset.
Working Towards Your Goals
Addressing self-sabotage means that each person must continuously ask themselves if the actions they are taking are actively helping them move towards their overarching goals. For example, someone who is trying to reach a point of perfection in their time in recovery may spend an exorbitant amount of time trying to continuously refine a single element of their day, or a single skill, thus leaving little time to practice other life skills or coping mechanisms that would have otherwise left them better equipped to deal with the daily stresses, and create a more rounded toolkit for coping. Setting overarching, long-term goals can help each person analyze their daily lives in order to ensure that they are avoiding self-sabotaging behavior as best as possible.
The same idea can be true for someone fearing establishing new relationships, or reworking old ones. While the feelings of isolation can be debilitating, for some it can be a struggle that they know and are accustomed to. Rather than having to put themselves out and experience the vulnerability that inherently comes with establishing deep and meaningful relationships, someone may instead begin to self-sabotage by trying to convince themselves that their isolation is somehow sparing them from the stress and vulnerability that comes with reaching out to others. This may create an immediate gratification in someone as they don’t have to confront the discomfort in their immediate future, but they do put themselves at risk for sabotaging their future goals for relationship building and the necessary practice in interpersonal and social skills.
Identifying the Underlying Reasons for Self-Sabotage
There are often a number of reasons that someone may consciously or unconsciously engage in self-sabotaging behaviors. Those who feel hesitant in the face of change or success may be experiencing a degree of underlying self-doubt, or may not be accustomed to the idea of a personal success and therefore aren’t sure how to process such achievements. Procrastination may also imply a level of self-doubt as someone may not be as confident in their abilities to tackle a certain challenge, even if they have all of the tools at their disposal to accomplish the task successfully. These underlying struggles with self-worth, confidence, and fear of the unknown can cause someone to doubt their recovery as a whole, thus hindering all of the hard work they have already done.
Self-sabotage can surface in a number of different ways, and they can all hinder one’s path to recovery and the goals that they set for themselves. These behaviors are often defense mechanisms that someone builds around themselves in order to provide the fallacy of safety, but in the end they are inherently hindering the recovery process as a whole. Acknowledging these behaviors for what they are can help each person understand their own mental roadblocks in recovery, allowing them to confront these behaviors head-on in an effort to continue to keep recovery and their long-term goals at the forefront of their minds.
Self-sabotage can manifest in a number of ways, and can even be the spark that causes someone to either begin developing an unhealthy relationship with drugs, alcohol, or any other kind of destructive behavior. If you or a loved one are struggling with an addiction or beginning your healing journey from a mental health disorder, START UP RECOVERY can help you begin to understand your own strengths and address these self-sabotaging practices in a safe and comforting environment. The houses and apartments established through START UP can provide you with the sense of comfort you need in order to confront your own vulnerabilities, as well as capitalize on your own strengths when addressing your issues and potential self-sabotaging behaviors. Each program can be personalized to fit your goals alongside your stressors most prevalent in your life in order to build a recovery model that is right for you. For more information on how we can help you begin your journey with us, or to talk to a trained professional about your unique situation and how we can develop an individualized plan based on your needs, call us today at (310) 773-3809.