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Talking about addiction, whether it be in regards to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or shopping, always comes with an air of fragility. It can be a very emotional and tense conversation, as someone may feel they have to tiptoe around every word they use. However, bringing up an addiction can become unavoidable when trying to help those who may be struggling. These fragile but necessary conversations can be difficult. However, conducting the conversation in a safe and equal way can make all the difference in making oneself out as genuine, caring support through such a difficult time.
Begin the Conversation on Even Ground
A proper environment can have a considerable influence on the conversation, even before any words are spoken. When discussing such a heavy topic, it is best to do so in a neutral space. Calling someone into another’s private room can take away the comfort that someone may need when addressing this topic and may cause someone to act defensively. Avoid open, public spaces, and instead, use shared living spaces to begin the conversation. This allows someone to mitigate much of outside stimuli that may otherwise hinder each person’s focus. Equality and comfort can go a long way in establishing effective and honest conversation about addiction.
Using Evidence
A significant part of beginning the conversation around addiction involves avoiding assumptions in favor of using evidence. Rather than bringing up times where someone “may” have been drunk or high, it is more impactful to reference particular days or events where someone was undeniably intoxicated. Referencing specific shopping trips that liquidated one’s bank account with the evidence of the purchases can be much more impactful than someone merely stating that someone feels like they “spend too much.” Making assumptions can take power out of the conversation, and someone suffering from addiction may use such opportunities to continue to deflect or deny the presence of the issue. Using evidence and concrete examples that cannot be denied is a way for someone to show how addiction may be manifesting and demonstrate the larger effects it has on those around them.
The Importance of Asking Questions
Asking questions is also crucial for establishing an equal starting point and providing the opportunity for honest dialogue to take place. Phrasing concerns as questions ensures that each person can state their side of things and that one person doesn’t dominate discussions. Saying things like “I think you have a problem” can be very profound. Still, it can also put someone immediately into a defense mode - especially if the conversation about addiction is beginning with this accusatory approach. Instead, asking questions helps reinforce the idea of equality when discussing such a difficult topic.
If someone responds to a question that does not line up with the evidence presented, this isn’t an invitation to accuse someone. Giving the evidence again can help someone see the extent of their use, or how far-reaching the effects have become, and can provoke someone to become more reflective and honest with themselves about the situation. Addiction isn’t something that anyone consciously develops. It is possible that someone doesn’t realize the extent to which they are taking part in a dangerous substance or activity or realize how many people are affected by such actions.
Continuing Dialogue
These delicate conversations don’t have to take place all at once. Trying to force someone to get the help they may need can be met with resistance, and a recovery program is most effective if the person feels the need to recover for themselves. Beginning a conversation may not result in someone seeking the help they may need right away. However, one can always be prepared with information on incredibly helpful recovery programs. Having this information available can help answer questions or address reservations they may have about recovery. Starting these conversations is the first step towards addressing a larger problem and can frame someone’s actions and priorities going forward. It can be challenging to talk about the stresses that someone may be experiencing, but addressing the topic in an equal and honest way can promote further dialogue. Addressing addiction and recovery takes time, and it is essential to continue to reinforce the idea that it is a process that can be done together and can be overcome.
Talking about addiction can be an incredibly difficult task. Beginning the conversation on even ground, using evidence, asking questions, and continuing dialogue can aid in making discussions about addiction easier. If you or a loved one are discussing addiction and are ready to take your first step towards a sober future, START UP RECOVERY can help you today. Our transformational living facilities approach each person with a unique program, backed by a tight schedule of constructed therapies and life skills. With a personal, individualized approach that can connect each person with those who can support their personal growth and professional goals, our community of professionals, mentors, and peers all work together to build up a strong and supportive recovery community. Personalizing your stay with us can help you focus on the strategies that work best for you while instilling the skills and mindset to pursue your own goals beyond recovery. For more information on the various ways that we can help you, or to talk to a caring, trained staff member about your unique situation, call us today at (310) 773-3809.